And by “history,” Geoffrey of course means “some crazy stuff I made up ’cause I find our real history rather boring.” Naturally, he neglected to tell people that his version of history was fictional, leading to generations who figured that most of it was actually true. Still, dubious intentions aside, Geoffrey’s history is a brilliant work of literature. You can thank him for inventing King Lear, among other stories. He also stole King Arthur from the Welsh and popularized his legend with the public.
But this isn’t about either King I just mentioned, this is about Brutus, the man who founded Britain! Probably. Maybe. Alright, not really. But just go with it, okay? Brutus is yet another in a long line of suckers that got cursed with a prophesy saying he was gonna kill his parents. It seems like there was a lot of that going around back then. Honestly, I think the mortality rate would’ve been a lot lower had our ancestors just gotten rid of the prophets.